Why are more women in church than men?
Surely because God likes women more than men and therefore choses to save more of them?!!?!
I dont believe that for one moment, but an interesting question was written in response to my post: 'A Male God' by Rev. Leaney.
"Do women relate to God differently to men because he is primarily spoken of as male? I read an article recently which suggested that the reason the number of men in churches is declining is because of the 'feminine' way they're expected to relate to Jesus (singing about love etc). I'm not sure how far I'd go along with that, but it's interesting"
Fundementally I dont believe that women relate to God differently because he is spoken of as Male. I do however, as a Christian man, understand a few reasons why men do not want to become part of the Christian Church. I think a little look at these might reveal why there are more women in the Church than men.
I have no desire to 'feel' contented. I have no desire to 'feel' loved. I have no desire to FEEL anything... I desire to be contented, i desire to be loved - I want my peace to come primarily from a knowledge that i am in a peaceful situation not from an emotion of peace. I believe that other men think in a similar way. If i am in debt i want to get out of debt, if i have a problem i want to solve it. No amount of emotional gymnastics will satisfy me until i can deal with the reality.
I worry that much of the teaching of the Church goes along these lines: 'Come to Jesus and he will give you a feeling of peace', 'Get saved and get a feeling of the love of God'. Do we not major on such verses as 'Come to me all you who are weak and heavy laden and i will give you rest' 'They will soar on wings like eagles' 'If God is for us who can be against us' and the like? Of course they are true - but i claim that we're turning a lot of people esp. blokes away from Jesus by making him out to be about emotional fulfilment. That emotional buzz we're supposed to thrive on in times of worship; that feeling of being loved we're supposed get when we're prayed for during a difficult time in our lives.
The gospel gives us emotional stability. But isn't it far more than that? I know a lot of non- Christians who are perfectly emotionally stable and the offer of emotional stability or even exuberence is quite positively a turn-off. The Gospel speaks of a battle won for our lives, a solution to a very real problem of sin and seperation, it speaks of love yes, but love in action. Love that causes God to die for his beloved.
However i think it's more than this. I am goal-driven, i love to meet targets, i have ambitions and desire to complete them. I am certainly not motivated by what i feel - or even by what you feel. Is this not at least a bit characteristic of the differences between men and women? While the church insists on being motivated by the feelings of it's congregation it will continue to be filled with people who are motivated by feelings (their own and other peoples'). I believe more women operate in this way than men. It's not 100%, but i think its at least a majority.
So what's the solution? We need to move towards a situation in which our feelings are at the bottom of the agenda, and where other peoples' feelings are significantly below evangelisation. We need to see that God cares more about his fame and glory than whether i feel lonely or something. The solution is that we need to start to care more about God than about us. We need to centre our lives on him.
So where does that leave us on the men and women thing? I've been in a CU where the focus was very strongly on evangelism, mission, and projects at the expense of the feelings of its members. Guess what? It was male dominated... I've been at a church where the focus was on the family atmosphere and ministry to its members. Guess what? It was female dominated...
We dont need or want either of these extremes, but if you are wondering why there are no blokes in your church i will suggest that you need to give them something to get their teeth into! It's not as if Jesus has left us with nothing to be working on: go and make disciples of all nations, baptising them and teaching them all i have commanded you.
PS. Young Christian blokes need this most. If you want to keep blokes in your youth group then give them projects to do, teaching opportunities, and something to get stuck into or they'll get bored and look elsewhere.
I dont believe that for one moment, but an interesting question was written in response to my post: 'A Male God' by Rev. Leaney.
"Do women relate to God differently to men because he is primarily spoken of as male? I read an article recently which suggested that the reason the number of men in churches is declining is because of the 'feminine' way they're expected to relate to Jesus (singing about love etc). I'm not sure how far I'd go along with that, but it's interesting"
Fundementally I dont believe that women relate to God differently because he is spoken of as Male. I do however, as a Christian man, understand a few reasons why men do not want to become part of the Christian Church. I think a little look at these might reveal why there are more women in the Church than men.
I have no desire to 'feel' contented. I have no desire to 'feel' loved. I have no desire to FEEL anything... I desire to be contented, i desire to be loved - I want my peace to come primarily from a knowledge that i am in a peaceful situation not from an emotion of peace. I believe that other men think in a similar way. If i am in debt i want to get out of debt, if i have a problem i want to solve it. No amount of emotional gymnastics will satisfy me until i can deal with the reality.
I worry that much of the teaching of the Church goes along these lines: 'Come to Jesus and he will give you a feeling of peace', 'Get saved and get a feeling of the love of God'. Do we not major on such verses as 'Come to me all you who are weak and heavy laden and i will give you rest' 'They will soar on wings like eagles' 'If God is for us who can be against us' and the like? Of course they are true - but i claim that we're turning a lot of people esp. blokes away from Jesus by making him out to be about emotional fulfilment. That emotional buzz we're supposed to thrive on in times of worship; that feeling of being loved we're supposed get when we're prayed for during a difficult time in our lives.
The gospel gives us emotional stability. But isn't it far more than that? I know a lot of non- Christians who are perfectly emotionally stable and the offer of emotional stability or even exuberence is quite positively a turn-off. The Gospel speaks of a battle won for our lives, a solution to a very real problem of sin and seperation, it speaks of love yes, but love in action. Love that causes God to die for his beloved.
However i think it's more than this. I am goal-driven, i love to meet targets, i have ambitions and desire to complete them. I am certainly not motivated by what i feel - or even by what you feel. Is this not at least a bit characteristic of the differences between men and women? While the church insists on being motivated by the feelings of it's congregation it will continue to be filled with people who are motivated by feelings (their own and other peoples'). I believe more women operate in this way than men. It's not 100%, but i think its at least a majority.
So what's the solution? We need to move towards a situation in which our feelings are at the bottom of the agenda, and where other peoples' feelings are significantly below evangelisation. We need to see that God cares more about his fame and glory than whether i feel lonely or something. The solution is that we need to start to care more about God than about us. We need to centre our lives on him.
So where does that leave us on the men and women thing? I've been in a CU where the focus was very strongly on evangelism, mission, and projects at the expense of the feelings of its members. Guess what? It was male dominated... I've been at a church where the focus was on the family atmosphere and ministry to its members. Guess what? It was female dominated...
We dont need or want either of these extremes, but if you are wondering why there are no blokes in your church i will suggest that you need to give them something to get their teeth into! It's not as if Jesus has left us with nothing to be working on: go and make disciples of all nations, baptising them and teaching them all i have commanded you.
PS. Young Christian blokes need this most. If you want to keep blokes in your youth group then give them projects to do, teaching opportunities, and something to get stuck into or they'll get bored and look elsewhere.
posted by Dan | 3:20 PM
1 Comments:
Dan,
Having all but given up on your blog, I randomly decided to take a look. I was of course delighted to find that you've resumed blogging. I was even more delighted to find that my comment sparked a whole post.
And I think your suggestions about keeping men are really interesting. I'm intrigued by your CU/church comparison - I will think about that more...
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